The Buh or the Bye...Buh-Bye

I love this SNL sketch. Fave line is when Helen Hunt says, "I am sorry what part did you not understand the buh or the bye...buh-bye." That is a bit how I have felt this week, like what part of this do you not understand, because to me it is all very simple.

So I think I have mentioned this before, but here's me, hyper-responsible, controlling, first born, rules follower, do I need to say more? I can be flexible, in some rare circumstances, but it does happen occasionally. Like, dare I mention that Hadleigh has been eating peanut butter since she was 10 months old...I know, shocking (for all the non-moms out there, American Pediatrics recommends 18 months old for PB).

There are a lot of wonderful reasons to have rules, spoken and unspoken, and there are lots of good reasons to follow rules. Americans and Brits have the concept of the line down, so when you are in Europe and you fly Ryan Air out of London everyone gets in a nice queue without touching anyone else. You would think that as anal as the Germans are, they would have it down too, but no. When the Germans announce boarding everyone crowds and pushes, really obnoxious for me, a rule follower.

I have a strong sense of right and wrong, black and white (not that it is always correct, but still), so in my jobs I was always fighting against the exceptions that are always around in every job. The crazy missionary who thinks they don't need any cross-cultural training, or the crazy soldier who thinks because of their rank they can take a test whenever they want. Ugh.

When you have a boss, there is always a balance that you strike, and they make you be creative and bend and find solutions, etc. But sometimes it is just still irritating, because in the end, if there is a mess because of the exception, guess who cleans it up?

In any case, there are lots of people out there. Not everyone is like me. Thank goodness there are many gracious, and accommodating people out there. People who want to see everyone included and everyone get a chance, and who can see creative solutions to problems. But I know that sometimes they just don't understand me, and I don't understand them. And sometimes we drive each other crazy.

It is like that tension between truth and love. I need to speak the truth. Someone else wants to just love and never say anything. There is a balance...I need some love and others need some truth.

Did I preface all of this sufficiently?

I was in a situation recently where there was a deadline. To me, a deadline means that I need to do something by a certain date, or not do it at all. 12.01 hits and the carriage turns into a pumpkin. No second chances, just a "better luck next time" pat on the back. But shockingly, to some a deadline is merely an interesting idea and has little to do with reality.

For me, I care about accommodating others, but I don't care enough to change a deadline. I just say, what part of this did you not understand? There is an order to things that makes all of life simpler. BUT sometimes it is more important to care for the person over my precious deadline.
Not today, but sometimes.

I was theologizing about all of this last night with Dave. If I believe God is sovereign, then can I safely say everyone who signed up on time was meant to attend, and those who didn't weren't meant to attend? I think that I can safely say that, though it is not an excuse for me to not care about people. On the other hand, sometimes I feel less than cared for when others are making life hard for me by extending my deadlines. It seems an interesting predicament.