Thursday, May 31, 2007

Confessions and Creeds

Hadleigh has a low grade fever. The good news is she seems completely fine. The bad news is this keeps me constrained, and it is especially a bummer to be house bound when she seems fine.

So in light of being house bound for a while I am finishing up my book, Presbyterian Creeds by Jack Rogers. I think that I want to move on to a book that will cover some of the confessions that weren't covered in this book, but overall it has been a fascinating read. The book covers the Apostles and Nicene Creeds, and then moves on to the Scots Confession, the Heidelberg Catechism, the Second Helvetic Confession, the Westminster Confession and Catechism, and then it has a couple recent confessions which I think mostly deal with the Presbyterian Church USA.

The fun part is reading about what brought about these confessions and how they were written and approved. Like did you know that the Westminster Confession and Catechism was written to unite all the churches of Great Britain. It was initally accepted and then after a civil war was rejected by the Church of England, and adopted by the Church of Scotland. The very purpose for which it was written never came about. But the Westminster Confession and Catechism came to America with the pilgrims and became the main confession of the church in America. Interesante.

I also love the Heidelberg Catecism. It is so beautiful and personal. After reading about the history of how it was written, I understood even more why it is so personal.

My fav question from the Heidelberg Catechism is the first question.

1 Q. What is your only comfort in life and death?
A. That I am not my own, 1
but belong-
body and soul,
in life and death- 2
to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. 3

He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, 4
and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. 5
He also watches over me in such a way 6
that not a hair can fall from my head
without the will of my Father in heaven: 7
in fact, all things must work together for my salvation. 8

Because I belong to him,
Christ, by his Holy Spirit,
assures me of eternal life 9
and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready
from now on to live for him. 10

1 I Corinthians 6.19-20
Romans 14.7-9
3 I Corinthians 3.23; Titus 2.14
4 I Peter 1.18-19; I John 1.7-9,2.2
5 John 8.34-36; Hebrews 2.14-15; I John 3.1-11
John 6.39-40; 10.27-30; 2 Thesselonians 3.3; I Peter 1.5
7 Matthew 10-29-31; Luke 21.16-18
8 Romans 8.28
9 Romans 8.15-16; 2 Corinthians 1.21-22; 5.5; Ephesians 1.13-14
10 Romans 8.17

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Picnic and Pool

This Mem Day we headed over to John and Brea's. They had put together a last minute BBQ and we were one of the lucky few who had no prior plans. The kiddos were able to play in the duck pool, and stealing watermelon from each other.
We arrived just in time to see John blowing up the pool. It was a bit of a sight. Brennan and Hadleigh enjoyed splashing each other.
Look at that face.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Miss Hadleigh Claire Goes Camping

Dave and I had been trying to decide what to do for Mem Day weekend. We went back and forth with lots of ideas and Dave settled on wanting to go camping. Not just park and camp, but hike away from the car and camp. At first I had several reasons why I did NOT want to do this. I am 19 weeks prego, how are we going to bring milk for HC, etc. He shot down all of my reasons why camping might not be the best idea and we began to gear up to go.

In prep to go I began to look into camping cribs that we could bring along for HC. My good bud Laurence had a suggestion of Phil and Ted's T2 Travel Cot. I looked online and it was perfect...the only problem was that we would have to order online and we didn't have enough time for it to get here. We resigned ourselves to just taking a few extra blankets and making a bed for HC out of the blankets.

Since Dave has Fridays off we drove up to Chattahoochee National Forest on Friday morning and settled on a spot near the Tallulah River head waters. It was so beautiful. We ended up camping within 1/4 mile of the car, but had to hike down an incline and then ford across the river (which was only calf deep) and then walk through poison ivy and stinging nettles to get to the perfect spot.

HC loved every minute of our time. Everything was new and different and exciting. She loved being in the tent and sitting outside on the tarp, playing with butane canisters and matches and baby wipes and citronella candles and bug spray. Her favorite thing was sitting in the river and splashing around, and fishing with Dada.

Our main drama came when it was time for bed. We brought two tents, and I was the idiot who volunteered to sleep in the tent with HC. What was I thinking??? She was so tired I just kept waiting for her to come and laydown beside me on her little bed, but she was WAY too interested in feeling every part of the tent, touching my wet socks, and exclaiming about everything. I finally had to hold her down while she sobbed for 45 minutes and finally fell asleep. Once she was asleep I had my own drama. I couldn't get comfortable and ended up tossing the entire night.

I was able to take a little extra snooze in the morning while Dave took care of HC and felt better and was ready to stay for another night. We took a hike in the morning up the river. Dave fished with HC, and I sat in the sun with my feet in the was so peaceful. After lunch Dave started feeling puny and it looked like a storm was rolling in, so we decided to pack up a bit early and head home.

Overall it was a wonderful trip and I would definitely do it again soon. Next time I will bring a crib for HC and some extra bedding for me.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Memorial Day

Three years ago Memorial Day for us changed in meaning. Before we moved to Germany, Memorial Day was just a day off, a 3 day weekend that welcomed in the summer. Over past Memorial Days I have headed to the beach in Florida, or to the lake in TN, without much thought as to the meaning behind the day.

Once we arrived in Germany and began to experience a little of Army life, Memorial Day took on a whole new meaning. Memorial Day is a day to remember those who have given their lives for my freedom.

It is a difficult choice to remain in the Army. Even for those who make it to Iraq and back there are so many sacrifices that are made by the soldiers and their families. We saw many of these sacrifices first hand as we walked through the deployment of the 92nd MPs to Afghanistan and then the 1st Armored Division to Iraq.

My friend Cindy and I were prego together and our babies were due just days apart. We drove together to a weekend birthing class in Ramstein. Every other person in the class had their husband present. Cindy ended up driving herself to the hospital while she was in labor. Mark was actually on his way to Germany for some R&R, but missed the birth by 24 hours.

One gal I worked with, her father-in-law died while her husband was in Iraq. He was able to make it home for the funeral, but never was able to say goodbye to his dad in person.

One of the first chaplains we had in Baumholder was extended in Iraq and missed his son's college graduation, his commissioning as an officer and his wedding.

This is just part of life for military families. Some women are bitter about their situations, but many of the women that I met understood what life was like in the Army community. They are proud of what their husbands do and make life work at home while they are away. Honestly I think that it is one of the toughest jobs out there.

Going through the last deployment with Baumholder was tough on us. All of a sudden we went from not knowing anyone in Iraq, to knowing a ton of people in Iraq. And we didn't just know the soldiers, we knew their wives and kids. Honestly, I don't think that I have ever prayed every day for anything in my life...but Dave and I prayed every day for those guys. It was actually a really sweet thing for us. We felt that we could take an active role, instead of just watching the news...

One year ago today I received the phone call that I never wanted to receive. We had just returned home from our vacation to Italy, and I was super exhausted after spending 13 hours in the car driving home with Hadleigh who was only 2 months old. It was super late, but when Dave checked the messages on our phone he told me that I had to call Sara right away. I felt sick.

When I got her on the phone she told me that Nic's husband had been killed. Nic wasn't a good friend, in fact I think that we had only spoken to Doug on one occasion. Nic was in my group of friends. We had a rotating girls night that got together once a month and she also attended our Chapel service. Oddly enough there was another connection with Nic. Dave and Nic attended the same high school and Dave's sister Angie and Nic were good friends.

After Doug's death my friend Jess had a dream where she pictured the Lord making wine out of the water from Nic's tears. I think that is a beautiful picture of what the Lord does with our sorrows, one day there will be joy in the morning. And if you are a wine lover, like Nic, having the LOrd make wine out of tears seems pretty awesome.

I am sure that Nic will forget me, but I will never forget her. I will never have another Memorial Day when I don't think and pray for her and her son.

The links above link to eulogies and to an interview with Nic that was aired on NPR.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Poop in the Tub

Dave and I had an insane night on Monday. My car was making a funny noise (turned out to be the compressor), so he was out trying to figure out the problem, while I quickly fed and bathed Hadleigh. We were awaiting a call at 5.30 from our financial planner, so we were all scurrying around. I don't usually give Hadleigh her bath, so I was a little out of practice.

I put her on the toilet, as we normally do, to let her pee. With one hand on her I was turned around trying to do other things with my other hand (like turn on the water in the bath, etc). I turned back toward Hadleigh, asked her if she was finished (like she going to respond), and then proceeded to lift her off the toilet and deposit her in the tub. As I moved I heard a plopping noise from the toilet. When I looked I found that she had pooped. I didn't take any pictures (because I am not Dave), but as soon as I saw it I realized that I had just put her and her dirty poopy butt into the bath tub. NASTY! So, I grabbed her out of the tub and threw her back on the toilet. And then I looked in the tub and noticed another little poop bobbing in the water. CRAP!

Dave walked in and I started yelling for him to grab her on the toilet, while I grabbed the poop and put it in the toilet. In all the commotion I failed to hear the phone ring and we missed our call from the financial dude.

What drama. Dave let the water out of the tub, filled it back up with clean water while I wiped HC's bum. Dave finished the bath.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Make the Pain Go Away

I feel like this might be a quote from a movie, I don't really know, but for some reason Dave and I say this to each other from time to time.

Dave and I have now been back in Atlanta for 7 months. It seems a little hard to believe. And if I am totally honest our transition back here has sucked. I knew that it was going to be hard in some ways, and anyone who has moved away and then come back to the same place will know exactly what I am talking about. You just can't fit back into the same niche as when you left.

I feel that in some ways in coming back to Atlanta I am coming back to a whole different culture. The doctors do the prego thing different here, so I have to re-learn how to be prego in America. Moms are different here and now I have to figure out how to be a mom here in America. People worry about different things, and have different views on the war. Here it is about buying a house, or buying the next house, in Germany buying a house wasn't even an option. There it was about when and where the next trip would be or if we should drive to France for dinner tonight, here leaving the city seems like a major excursion.

I keep reminding myself that I am in transition and soon I won't feel as irritated by things that I perceive are "wrong". I know that my perceptions are heightened by the fact that I am prego and have raging hormones and feel horrible. It has also been heightened by Dave's search for a permanent job. Both of those factors seem to slowly fading away, I am starting to feel better and it looks like Dave's temp job is turning permanent.

I know that I have been a pain and a putz and instead of focusing on the ways that I am similar with other moms or other people, I have been focusing on how I am different. Somehow I feel justified in my differences and I have elevated my differences to be the "right" way, instead of just "a" way.

Dave and I will always be a bit different from what I perceive the norm to be. I mean, why not move to Europe for 3 years? Why not travel to 11 countries before your first baby is 6 months old? Why not let your newborn and 19 month old share a bedroom?

But just because we have made these choices, doesn't mean that folks who make other choices are wrong. I need to offer grace, in the same way that I want grace offered to me. It is just so much easier to hold everyone to my standard is the best!

You know what is funny, is that there were people that we met in Germany that I made snap judgments about in the beginning...and after a little time they ended up being close friends. It is hard for me to admit my sin, and to see where I have failed in loving people and offering grace. Sinning sucks. I wish I could just be perfect and then I wouldn't have any of these problems!

In spite of all these insane feelings I can see the Lord's provision and providence in every step we have made since returning from Germany. We have never been late on a bill, we have always had enough to make it through the month and sometimes have even had a little to spare. We have a perfect little house, in a perfect area, where I can go to the market and feel like I am in a different country. We have a great church where the gospel is preached. We have found a home at the Abundant Life Fellowship at Intown. Our family is growing. We have had the opportunity to reconnect with old friends and connect with new ones.

If I focus on all the poo, it is hard for me to rejoice with the provisions that have been graciously handed to me from above. I need to remember that here on earth I will never fully belong, no matter where I live, no matter what I do. But one day I will belong, and one day the Lord will make all things new and right. I won't ever sin against another person, and no one will sin against me. Let that day be soon!

Monday, May 21, 2007


This past weekend we drove up to Knoxville for Dave's nephew, Jonathan's high school graduation. It was a fun weekend all around. We spent time with Dave's parents on Friday, and on Saturday Hadleigh's favorite Aunt Angie and cousins Joshua and Jacob came over for a visit. The graduation was Saturday evening, so Hadleigh stayed home with a sitter, and we all made our way to the graduation ceremony. After the ceremony we all went out to eat at a Japanese Steak House, which was GREAT!

Sunday we had the opportunity to worship at Redeemer Church of Knoxville which is a wonderful PCA church plant near the UT campus in downtown Knoxville. We attended the Christmas Eve service at Redeemer when we were up in Knoxville for Christmas this past year and really enjoyed the church and especially the pastor, Paul Hahn. It is a particularly liturgical service, which is a bit different from Intown, but the worship is very rich.

On another note, Hadleigh has been learning to feed herself with a spoon and is doing a marvelous job.
Top: Dave and Jonathan
Middle: Dave's parents, Steve and Pauline and Jonathan
Bottom: Dave's sister, Angie and her boys, Josh, Jon and Jacob

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Mother's Day

I forgot to post about Mother's Day. This past Sunday was my second official Mother's Day and it was super fabulous. I woke up to hugs from HC and gifts from Dave. He always starts off with the weird gifts...for example, he first gave me two new windshield wipers. Then he mentioned that they were for my new car. I got really angry (I know, most women would not get angry if their husband told them that) and he finally caved and told me that they were for my Buick (big relief). And then I received my real gift, a wonderful letter and an MP3 player. I was super shocked, but it has been super fun to use it, especially in the car. Now I don't have to listen to the crazy Fish radio station...sorry if any of you like that station, but it drives me insane!

After church our good bud Jess came over and Dave cooked us an awesome meal of Japanese style skate and tilapia. Yummy good!

I received lots of fun hugs and kisses from my baby. She was super sweet to me on Sunday. Here is a picture of her new tricks. She clasps her hands together and wiggles them back and forth. I think that she is dancing, and it is super hilarious to watch. She gets a real kick out of it herself.

On a totally separate note, we sang a few songs on Sunday that I noticed were written by Stuart Townend. He is one of my favs, and wrote the hymn How Deep the Father's Love and In Christ Alone and Before the Throne of God. I decided to look him up on the internest yesterday to see when he lived and what his life was like. Imagine that shock I got...dude is still alive! He is a worship leader at a church in England. Crazy! We don't have a lot of contemporary hymnwriters, so I just assumed that he was dead.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Scots Confession

I had been reading this book on creeds and confessions that was very interesting, but I actually put it down a couple months ago. I picked it up again this week and have enjoyed reading it again.

I just finished the section on John Knox and the Scots Confession of 1560. My bro, Chris, will find it interesting to note that most of the reformers (Luther, Calvin, Zwingli) viewed two essential marks of the true visible church, if the Word of God is truly preached and the sacraments of Communion and Baptism are rightly administered. This goes back to the article I read on Sola Scriptura...he wanted to know what the true "church" is...

John Knox and the Scottish reformers added a third view which is ecclesiastical discipline. Bam, welcome to the roots of the Presbyterian Church. The Scots Confession was eventually replaced by the Westminster Confession in 1647. I still have to read about the Helvetic Confession and the Heidelberg Catechism (which is my personal fav) before I find out more about the Westminster Confession.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Survivor Sweep

My bro Dan had a great post after this past Thursdays episode, and I totally agree. Yau was a maniac and it was hilariously awesome to watch. I just laughed out lloud as well after Stacy basically threw herself under the bus at tribal...idiot...but glad she was finally gone.

Overall I will have to say, I was glad that Earl won last night. I think that he played hard and deserved it. I wish he had brought Yau with him to tribal, just because it would have made things more interesting with Yau, Earl and Dreamz.

Here are my thoughts on what the jury had to say. Yau as always was a very gracious competitor, very impressed. But what the junk was up with Lisi and Alex? OK, Lisi was always an idiot, but I am not exactly sure what she was trying to prove by her questions either to Cassandra or to Dreamz. Dreamz answered her question correctly, but she jeared him as if there weren't really 6 zeros in a million, aren't there 6 zeros in a million? And then picking on Cassandra...I don't think that Cassandra deserved the million, but hey at least she didn't give up half way through the game like Lisi. I just thought Lisi was WAY out of line. JUst to throw it in there my all time fav moment of this Survivor was when Lisi was sleeping and Mookie, Alex and Edgardo found the idol. Lisi woke up later and told are going to have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool me...of course she was an idiot to the fact that they had been digging and found the idol all while she was asleep and she had NO idea. Lisi...blah!

OK, so Alex. I really liked Alex until that crazy jury question. He just went for Cassandra's throat and I thought that unnecessary. She played a quiet game, she didn't upset anyone, she listened to folks and then made decisions...Alex just needed to pipe down.

All in all, it was interesting. I am not even going to comment on the Dreamz car thing. That was a lame move on Yau's part...and Yau should have made a deal with Dreamz in the end and left it at that. Another Surivor done...and now I don't have anything holding me to the TV.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Best News Ever

So today was probably the best Sunday I can remember in a long while. This morning we heard a wonderful, Christ-centered, gospel-centered sermon from John Tinnin. And after the service the congregation affirmed him as Intown's new senior pastor. It was truly exciting and wonderful. I actually couldn't stop crying during the service, and after at the congregational meeting (when we voted to hire him).

To me it was such a reminder of God's timing, and His faithfulness to our church, and I God is so faithful to Intown, maybe He will be equally faithful to me. I think that it why I was crying.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

A vs. O

Most of you know that we are huge White Horse Inn fans. We got hooked by some friends in Germany and we continue to listen to their programs and also subscribe to a magazine called Modern Reformation. This year in MR they are focusing on the Five Solas of the Reformation, Fide, Gratia, Christo, Scriptura and Deo Gloria. I can’t remember exactly how the saying goes, but it is something like this…We are saved by Grace alone, through Faith alone, on account of Christ alone, for God’s glory alone…and then Scripture is somewhere in there as well…feel free to chime in and correct me! My most recent mag is dedicated to Sola Scriptura.

The whole mag is fab, but there was one article that really caught my attention, the title is “Solo Scriptura: The Difference a Vowel Makes” this is where my A vs. O comes in. You can read the article here for free, though you have to give your info…but good news, they will send you a free copy of the mag, so it is not all bad.

I’ll give you my loose sum-up of the article, or at least what hit me the most. I will preface that I know my bro, Chris, would be really interested in this, but will think all the things I have to say are probably poor arguments (since I am not a philosophy chic), so I encourage all to read the article for is super cool.

I definitely grew up thinking that all I needed to understand and know God was the Bible. I thought that books and commentaries were OK, but not necessary to understanding what the Bible teaches. I knew a lot about the Bible and I knew a lot of the Bible. I had memorized huge portions of scripture and could find almost any “famous” verse if given 2-3 minutes. But I was never taught theology and the role it plays in understanding God. It has only been in the last 8 years that I have been able to articulate the doctrines of justification, sanctification, imputation, original sin and the purpose of baptism and communion. It probably hasn’t been until really recently that I started to realize there are some things that I just cannot understand on my own. Most Protestants believe in Solo Scriptura which is (to be utterly simplistic) the scriptures alone. I don’t need traditions, or commentaries or…I just need the Bible. The main problem with this is (1) This leaves scripture to be interpreted differently by every individual who reads it (2) this was never what the Reformers had in mind. No wonder we have folks coming up with their own theologies, why it is ok for churches to say that maybe things we used to think were sins aren’t really anymore, maybe Jesus didn’t really die on the cross, etc. Solo Scriptura lead the interpretation up to each of us alone.

Sola Scriptura says there is a “relation between Scripture and tradition…Scripture is to be understood as the sole source of divine revelation; it is the only inspired, infallible, final and authoritative norm of faith and practice. It is to be interpreted in and by the church; and it is to be interpreted within the hermeneutical context of the rule of faith.” To add to this, “Scripture was to be interpreted in and by the church within the context of rule of faith, yet neither the church nor the rule of faith were considered second supplementary source of revelation. The church was the interpreter of the divine revelation in Scripture, and the rule of faith was the hermeneutical context, but only Scripture was the Word of God.” So, the church doesn’t trump Scripture, as maybe a Roman Catholic might believe, instead it helps individuals interpret Scripture. Why do we have the Apostles Creed and the Nicene Creed? It was because of heresy in the church, so the church used scripture and tradition to teach what is right and true.

Tthis has been interesting to ponder over the weekend. Just in case you were wondering…I still read my Bible, I just don’t try to come up with new ways of interpreting things. I look at the theology I have learned and make sure Scripture backs it up. If I don’t think Scripture backs it up I won’t be making my own theology, I will be doing some more studying and reading (in Scripture and from those old crazy reformers like Luther and Knox…and maybe from some of the new crazy reformers like Packer and Piper) to try to understand things.

Just for kicks I thought I would throw in the Nicene Creed. I have been studying about this recently and it is one of my new favs.

We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he is worshiped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come. Amen.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Could It Be True?

Last Wednesday we received some crazy exciting news. In our church's weekly email they said that the Pastor Search Committee had an update and to be sure to attend church on Sunday. Intown's former pastor, Scot Sherman, left Intown for a church in San Fran almost 2 years ago. Ever since that time the committee has been working hard to try to find a good fit for our new senior pastor. Though Dave and I were in Germany for the first year of the search, we have definitely felt the weight of not having a senior pastor for the past 7 months.

After receiving the email I started screaming. Dave was in the bathroom washing Hadleigh, so he was a bit upset at my outburst. I started yelling "we have a pastor!" And then I got a little nervous...surely they wouldn't tell us they have an update and to come to church only to say they are continuing to search! That would be too cruel.

Dave was in Chicago this past weekend learning how to orally sedate people (if you are ever having drinks with him beware...he might slip you a pill and then say- open wide!), so he missed the announcement on Sunday. I was thrilled to find out that indeed the search committee had a recommendation to make. The final candidate will come and preach this Sunday and then we will have a congregational vote to finalize the deal. If all goes well he should be here in August.

The search committee asked the members to do several things this week in preparation for the weekend. They gave us a handout that gave some information about the candidate. They also encouraged us to be praying for clarity. As well they asked us to read Intown's Philiosphy of Ministry. So, taking my responsibilities as a member very seriously, and because I have a vested interest in making sure this is the right dude for the job, I took a look at the document this morning. You can check it out if you want.

I was taking to my fam last night and started getting a little nervous about the new dude. I thought about what I would do if he decided we shouldn't have communion every week, but that it should be once a month...or worse...once a quarter! The good news is that after reading the philosophy of ministry I felt a ton better, that the new dude would know that our church is "historically rooted, theologically driven and contextualized". You can't take away communion from a historically rooted church. Good news for me. I think that all the rest will all work out. =)

Overall I am excited. I impressed with the document I read this morning and it made me more excited than ever about what is ahead for Intown. While we were in Germany God brought the right man at the right time to be the head Chaplain for Baumholder. CH Woodbery was exactly who we needed as our pastor during the deployment, and I thank the Lord all the time that he brought Woodbery to our chapel. I know that the Lord will do the same for Intown. He won't be perfect and it will still be super messy, but it will be the right man at the right time.

Thursday, May 03, 2007


Well I haven't talked about the little one for a while, so they are going to get some air time. I am almost 16 weeks prego, which is such great news for so many reasons. I started getting some energy back last week, but then was kicked back down by an insane sinus infection. I had no idea what was happening to me and realized I have never had a sinus infection. So that caused some turmoil for me, mainly because coughing violently doesn't help a temperamental gag reflex. I also ended up loosing my voice for Sunday and Monday. The really sad thing was that on Sunday our closing hymn was "On Jordan's Stormy Banks" which is one of our fav songs and we actually sang it at our wedding. Anyway, the choir led worship and we sang a cappella (side note, in trying to figure out exactly how to spell this word I realized it is actually two words meaning...Italian for "in the style of the chapel"). It was amazing, but I couldn't sing! I just moved my lips in worship anyway.

So, besides my crazy sin. inf. I have gained some energy back. I am actually not in need of my afternoon nap, and have moved my bedtime back from 7 to 8.30, except on Thursday I stay up until 9 to watch Survivor. This morning we had a brunch to finish the women's Bible study I was attending and I actually baked some scones. I cannot remember the last time I baked something, but I think it was in February. So, I am definitely feeling better. My nausea is not 24/7 anymore, but just comes and goes. It always comes, but it just sometimes goes as well.

I go to the doc next Friday and am hoping for a good report. Maybe I will even get measured for the first time...wowee. I actually was telling friends about how the nurse was telling me that I would get measured, and when I said the word measured I made a hand gesture as if they measure me around the waist. They thought that was hilarious and told me that apparently they will be measuring my tummy from top to bottom. Crazy Americans...not sure what good that does, but apparently the docs have decided that measuring shows if the baby is ok...I don't buy that crap for one nano second. This is apparently one instance where the Americans don't mind being showed up by the Germans, but that is another argument for another time.

I decided to link back to my September 05 post when I was prego with little HC. The pic is about what I look like now, maybe I will get Dave to take a prego pic of me next week so I can post. It is not too exciting these days. Once my prego-bulimia goes away I might put on some pounds.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Choosing and Choices

For the last couple of weeks I have been having an interesting conversation with myself. I'll tell you that it is an ongoing conversation and this is hardly the conclusion of my thoughts on the subject...just a few ramblings. I might revisit this again later, but wondered if I put something things down on paper it might help bring some clarity to my own thoughts.

A few weeks ago I was fiddling around on the internet and skimming some of Matthew Smith's blog (he did a concert at Intown a couple weeks ago). While skimming I found a link to a video on utube that had a song performed by Pensacola Christian College. The song was a little odd, but went something like this:

God made everything on earth, he carved the oceans and made the mountains and gave the whiporwill his song, but He gives you freedom to choose (I am guessing they are speaking of choosing God).

I am guessing that this song was suppose to be wonderful and comforting, but it left me in a quandry.

My first question after watching this was...why do we humans hate the idea of God choosing us? Why is that so unthinkable to us?

My second question that really what the Bible teaches?

My third question was...why am I ok with God choosing where the mountains are and what songs the birds sing but I am not ok when it comes to God choosing (predestining...ahh! Buzz word #1) believers.

I am not sure of really any of the answers to the above questions. Well, that is not entirely true, I do feel really confidant in answering my second question.

Here is what I know about me. If left on my own I would choose sin every day of the week and every minute of the day. I definitely have my own mind and thoughts, which are, apart from God, sinful. If there is anything good in me it is from the Lord...if I am able to make any good choices it is by His grace alone. So, though I have all of these unanswered questions, what I know about myself and what I know about scripture tells me that, in fact, I did not choose God. I feel like I chose him because I prayed "the prayer", but how can a person dead in sin (Col 2.13, Eph 2.1) choose God?

That is enough ramblings for now...I know most folks are happy that they don't have to look at a poop post are welcome Sar!