Life with Two

It is probably best that I have waited to truly post about my transition from one to two kiddos. Life seems to have settled down and we are more into a routine, so it does not seem so intense as a few months ago.

There is just no way around it, the transition from 1-2 is hard. I have yet to talk to a mom who would say anything different. It is a different transition than from 0-1, and I am counting on this being the worst transition, most of the moms I have talked to said after 2, you are golden. Even our friends who have 5+ kiddos have said 1-2 is the worst. Yea! We have survived.

I know everyone has their own experience with babies, children and family. There are so many factors that play into this, temperament (of both baby and parent), life experience, and life situation- as in moving, switching jobs/other life transitions.

For me, the transition to mom was an easy jump. I do not particularly know why...Hadleigh wasa relatively easy baby (though she had her moments...I am remembering the crying fest she had when we drove from Salzburg back home...6 hour drive of insanity). Dave was around and helpful, and he doesn't tolerate odd behavior from me. He tends to be calm and rationale, and I tend toward worrying. He HATES it if I have an "irrational" fear (boogieman under the bed anyone?). Not only that, I think I do have a personality that can be laid back...occasionally. I also think that I did not have time to be concerned with what may/may not be wrong with Hadleigh. The month she was born the soldiers from Baumholder were moved from Kuwait into Iraq...there were a lot more important things to think/deal with than an occasional runny nose or whatever it may have been that made me worry.

My friend, Mike was the head nurse in our clinic and one time asked me why he hadn't seen me in the clinic with Hadleigh. He was shocked when I told him I had only gone in for my wellness appointments. Apparently first time moms are usually in there a lot.

So, given our experience with Hadleigh, I think we both thought the transition to two would be fine...even though the girls were going to be about 19 months apart (well...more like 20 months when Annelise finally came). Haha...Annelise blew all theories out of the water. She was born mad. I remember while I was in the hospital she would turn purple when she cried. Yikes!

I think it is hard to really tell the temperament of a baby in the first 4-6 weeks. I mean, they are all psycho and you just have to live through it. But once she was still psycho as we hit 7, 8, 10 weeks...that was when panic really set in.

I could not put her down. I literally had to hold her around the clock. I feel exhausted just thinking about it. I remember getting her to sleep in my arms and then putting her down in the bed. She would immediately wake up. It was so difficult. I tell you what, I did not struggle with post-partum depression, but...I had some pretty crazy thoughts during those first 4 months. I understand.

I think one of the hardest things during that time was feeling so alone. Thankfully Dave was around, but with no family close by it was really difficult. That was one of the first times I thought that having some family around would have been helpful. I felt tied and locked into being with Annelise all the time. I did not feel like I could leave her with just anyone, and hated to even think about asking someont to watch my crazy baby. Hey...anyone wanna sit in my living room and hold a crying baby for 2 hours? I felt guilty and so I didn't ask for a lot of help. ANd honestly, who could have helped me? I was nursing so much and Annelise would refuse to take a bottle, so it was just really hard.

I don't want anyone to think that I didn't have any help, because I did. My mom came for 2 weeks to help, Dave's mom came down for a couple days each week for several weeks. We had meals brought to us 3 times a week for 2 months. And we had random crazies who offered to hold crazy Annelise. Like Courtney who held her for 2 hours so we could go out for Valentine's Day and Lisa who held her for 3 hours while we went looking for houses. We never would have made it without these things.

Life has slowly returned to normal, it just seems really slow. I am sure that house hunting, buying a home, and moving had nothing to do with our transition either! =) I know some people have a freak-out moment as they buy their first home, I was just SO relieved to find a home and get a room for Annelise that I had no freak-out moments. Thank the Lord for separate rooms for the crazies!

Anyway, in the middle of all the drama with Annelise, I also had to tend to a 20 month old who needed some special tlc and attention. She still needed her diaper changed, and snacks, and books read. I remember often having to tell Hadleigh to pull it together because I just could not deal with 2 crying babies. She had to grow up fast!

Life is a bit more exciting with two girls, things take more time, and are a bit more complicated. Now we have to juggle two naps and schedules and personalities. I just can't always so the things I want to do because it is impossible, though I have managed to figure out how to do a lot of things with the two girls.

We love to go walking, thanks for Lisa who is letting us borrow her double jogger. I love to take the girls to the pool and have a great system that allows us to be in the big pool. We still have family fun day and love doing fun things around Atlanta, like the zoo, the nature center, the High, park, etc. Trips to the grocery store are more manageable, and despite the girls disdain for roadtrips we have still managed to make it to TN a number of times. Soon I will be flying out to California with the girls. That should be an interesting adventure, but I am hoping/praying for lots of helpful people along the way.

I love having two girlies, even though it is insane. It is fun to see Hadleigh and Annelise play and interact. It is fun to see them entertain each other and love each other. I am glad we are entering into a more normal schedule, and that our transition from 1-2 is about over. Yea for two!